back to the future

I'm not as young as I used to be. This statement is obvious, but these days my body can feel it. No, I'm not sore after playing sports or running. No, I don't grunt when I get off the couch or bend over to pick something up off the floor. No, my body is not beginning to break down. If none of these things are true, then what do I mean when I say that I feel my age? My body can't neglect sleep the way that it used to and without feeling the effects.

I have been working crazy hours since returning back from vacation. Upon completion of work yesterday, I had worked 120 hours in the last 10 days. And that doesn't take church into account, which took up nearly an extra 8 hours this past Sunday. So really, it was 128 hours in a 10 day span. I've worked crazier hours in the past without feeling much effect. But let's face it, I was probably only 22 or 23 back then. Now, I'm 28. It seems like I'll need to reassess the situation next time all this overtime becomes available. Let's just say that it's unlikely that I'll pull so many extra shifts from here on out.

Regardless of this realization, I could not go back in time and undo the fatigue that the last 10 days had left me with by the time I got home yesterday. I was so tired.The last thing in the world I wanted to do was go for a run. My wife was planning to take my daughter for a walk after dinner so I opted to put my run on hold until then so I could hang out with my wife before dinner (I knew I'd be going to bed early and wouldn't have much time to hang out otherwise).

After playing with Genevieve for a bit (she crawled to me for the first time when she saw me when I first got home...that was good for an adrenaline boost), we put her down for a nap. My body wanted me to take a nap too, but I fought through. Polly and I got caught up on some old episodes of "So You Think You Can Dance?" Then, we sat down for some delicious pulled pork sandwiches, cucumbers and corn on the cob. We followed dinner getting caught up on a couple old episodes of "Storage Wars." Then we finally heard the noise from the monitor. The baby was up. This could mean only one thing...it was time for Polly to take Genevieve for her walk, and time for me to go for my run.

I didn't want to run. I really didn't. I was just so tired. But then I thought back to every other time I've ever not wanted to go for a run (I usually love running, so this usually means times I'm incredibly fatigued or really busy). Then I thought back to how I've felt every single time that I fought through and ran anyway as well as how I've felt the times when I didn't. You see, every time I've ever not wanted to run and didn't, I've been filled with great disappointment. Meanwhile, every time I've ever not wanted to run and did, I've felt great after and extremely satisfied that I ran. So, for me, it helps to look back (at my past runs and results) so I can convince myself to do something in the future (in this case, the run I was convincing myself to go on last night). I refer to this concept as "Back to the Future."

Really, the concept of "Back to the Future" is application to many aspects of our lives. My favorite book of the Bible is Joshua. I always think about how God told Joshua to grab stones from the Jordan River when the Israelites crossed through it on dry ground. God then told Joshua to use the stones to build a memorial. The purpose of the memorial was so that when people saw it they would remember the miracle God had performed for them and be encouraged that He could perform a miracle again. When we look back on our (or in this example, God's) accomplishments, it should serve as encouragement that we (God) can do it again. The first time should always be the hardest. Once we've done it once, we should know we can do it again.

With "Back to the Future" in full operation for me, I knew what I had to do. No matter how badly I wanted not to run, I needed to run. I needed to fight through the adversity. I needed to persevere. I laced up my running shoes, put on my GPS watched and headed out the door.

My plan was to run the 2.2 mile loop that starts and finishes from my house, but I ended up running past my house to meet up with Polly and Genevieve on the route I knew they would be walking. I ended up running 2.5 miles. It certainly wasn't my fastest time (somewhere under 22 minutes), but I knew that I had fought through the fatigue and persevered. As soon as I got back, I was satisfied that I had run. But then again, thanks to looking back to my previous experiences, I knew I would!